A Is for Attitude - Taking responsibility for our moods and actionsDec 23, 2021
It may feel awkward and even threatening to take more responsibility for our moods and actions. With no one else to blame or focus on anymore, we are constantly guided back to our selves, and back to making a choice about how we want to show up in the world. Back to the person we want to be.
Even when there is obvious evidence of others not doing their part, we still can only change our selves. When we are getting used to this idea – that how we feel and how we behave is up to us – we also have more of a choice in how much we will allow others to hurt us.
In other words, when we become accepting of the fact that people are the way they are, and all we can do is accept them for who they choose to be, change how we feel about them, or let them go, we have come a long way.
As you are changing and growing, you may experience a period of discomfort – maybe even fear – when you realize that some people, places, and things have faded away, have started to move away from who you are becoming, and some external objects that used to have value are now not that important. It may be a little scary to see how your life is changing.
Sometimes it can even feel as if things and people are being “taken away” from you. As you are changing, some people are not going to like who you are becoming. Often one of the reasons can be that your transformation seems to remind them that they could change, too. It’s just too difficult for them, and to see you do so well is a constant reminder of their own unwillingness to try.
In these moments, you will find a place of acceptance of what is and allow people and circumstances to “fall away,” trusting that it is helping your transformation and who you are meant to be.
You can now also sort out what person, place, situation, or community you should keep in your life and what and whom to let go of by choice. You are settling into who you have become and are willing to sit with the discomfort and unsettling feelings of letting go of what is no longer helpful to your growth. This can still be difficult and even painful. It means that from now on you look at situations in your life and ask yourself, “Is this helpful to my growth?” If it’s not, you let it go.
With your new experiences of change, you have come to realize that change is helpful to your soul and who you truly are. So, from now on you can look at your circumstances from the standpoint of whether they are helping or hindering your transformation, and then you can choose what’s right for you.
What’s the difference between “accept,” “let go,” and “choose?” Well, acceptance is a practice of letting go of all judgments, wants, and needs about how you believe your day should unfold; you go with the flow and accept what’s there. Letting go is more about recognizing what you are still holding onto – a relationship, a situation, an item, a fear blocking your path forward – anything keeping you from excelling on your journey. And choice comes with an action on your part by which you may have to actually do something in the moment for your situation to change.
It’s one thing to just mentally accept and let go of things. It’s a different thing to have to make choices that involve changing our behaviors or setting boundaries with other people.
This means you are willing to hold onto your values even when it seems impossible to stick with who you now want to be. You will realize there is no turning back; you cannot un-know what you now know is possible for you. And you now know there is so much more happiness and life available to you. You are probably enjoying this new way of living and being but see situations where it is still difficult to stay congruent with the new you.
What you have had moments of clarity about is now becoming real and solid. The person you have become can stay balanced, with open healthy energy flow, and a strong positive attitude in times of adversity, as well as when things are calm.
Learning curves can feel exhausting at times. However, all these new behaviors and practices will soon become part of your consciousness to the point where you will see them as just your new thinking – part of you and no big deal.
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